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the most powerful feeling a human being can have


may 23, 2001
love may be “wrong.” there is no doubt that love is the most powerful feeling
a human can have. love can override our instinct of survival. this had to evolve
into our species over time and it definitley helped in our evolution. but who
says love is “right?” is our strong need to love and be loved beneficial to
our species now that we are of a higher consciousness? love causes more
problems and issues than good, but the good is the best you can have.
most of the love i see is dysfunctional dependance or governed by
unhealthy rules.

i always say about relationship love or marriage- when its good there
is nothing better in this universe, but when it goes bad it can be the worse
feeling a human can have. is this negative side a benefit to the species?
what if love didnt evolve so deeply in us? what is a conscious
animal without love? was it love that made us conscious?

i see love and relationships non-tradionally. ive even had to invent different
kinds of love to fit certain relationships. love can be many things to many people
and the “rules” of love in society make love very, very difficult by saying-
“this is what love should be”. these rules are not written anywhere (other than in some
religions) but are all around us. i have gone above those rules and have a deeper
understanding of what love is and how it feels to me. my love is not limited by
any rules. my love gives me a freedom i have never had before. basically i am
able to be “in love” with life so im not dependant on human companionship.
sure i like human companionship and probably need it to some extent, but
my happiness is not dependant on it. i can be happy without an intimate one-on-one
love relationship. (in fact im the happiest ive ever been by far!!!) therefore my feelings
and what i do is not depenadant on someone elses feelings or actions. but since i do
have deep passion for life, i still have that human need to express love. my freedom
and ability to be 100% honest to express my loves and passions openly and publicly
may be my most prized attribute…
love may be wrong

february 29, 2000
a few weeks ago i made the comment to a co-worker “thank god i’m not married”
(shortly after i realized it was an “annoyed reaction” to a comment she made)
her reply was “…marriage is a lot of work.” over the weekend my mother made the same
“marriage is work” comment and i told her “that if marriage is work then there shouldn’t be
a marriage.” if i get into a marriage and i have to work at it i’m getting out. on the way to
work today i came to two more conclusions. first; marriage with kids is work. parenting
is the hardest job by far on the planet. there is a VERY special bond between two people
who have kids together that cannot be broken and goes far beyond marriage. now this
relationship can be viewed as “work,” but marriage without kids should not be…second:
understanding is developed, you are not born with it. it takes knowledge & learning of self
and the things around you to reach a point of understanding where life (and therefore marriage)
isn’t work. the question i couldn’t answer was “should people who haven’t reached that
understanding marry and develop and grow together?” should two people decide to spend
the rest of their lives together at a stage when they aren’t able to understand or easily handle
the rigors of life?
love & marriage


Sexual attraction is caused by :
=======& phenylethylamine (PEA) working in unison.
____ PEA is the infatuation inducing stimulant.

These three endorphines create a feeling of euphoria & uncertainty, resulting in insatible desire.

Oxytocin is the cuddling hormone – It reaches a five-fold increased – elevation at the moment of male orgasm, but it is not gender-exclusive. This chemical creates bonding in individuals. Dopamine leads to increased production of oxytocin, but the number of receptors which any individual has is the basis for the depth of the emotional attachment.

The enzyme monoamine oxidase (MAO ) is the chemical of risk takers –
It is known to be 20% lower in women and higher in those with the alleged “addiction gene”. (gentiles only) the hormone which causes fear is to warn us of danger – not to make us afraid of danger phenylalanine, choline,tyrosine and DMAE are smart chemicals Tryptophan->Hydroxytryptophan, Vitamine B6->Serotonin-> relaxation The anxiety hormones increase alertness, spur your action, give an extra spark. Stress hormones have a catabolic effect on the body. Anxiety & uncertainty relate to arousal. 

Depression is anger turned inward. Always work off anger, and burn the sugar & adrenaline. from:  Endorphines by Robert Hedges ©